She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
