it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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