I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
