you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
