So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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