We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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