based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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