Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
