YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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