I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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