so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this just has baby written all over it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
