How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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