ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i need some magic done to my vagina
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
