we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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