She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
