i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
