He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
