Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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