I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize