At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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