Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
