Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
