i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
worst night to have a conscience
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
