Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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