Christians are straight up FREAKS
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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