all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
