I bet he comes in French.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
