I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
