rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Let's get the cat blown out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
