I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize