She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How's work?
Spinning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
