Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
