I wish life had little blips of pornography
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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