if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
