If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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