my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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