If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
