Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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