This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Welp...herpes.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize