Sacagawea was the original milf.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
