My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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