So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize