Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
