He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
