I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
