He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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