The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
