Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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