puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I currently don't understand fingers.
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