she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
