ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
two words...techno handjob
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
