We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
