I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
