is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
