Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
