Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
