everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
