sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
