By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
