Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
