It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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