Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
