Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
