is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
