Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
