hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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