The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
